Kicking and Screaming
by War of the Roses
Summary: Senior year is a crazy time... writing papers, filling out applications, getting sucked into ancient Chinese manuscripts, being pursued by celestial warriors for various reasons... You know, the usual.


(A/N) Once, many moons ago, when we were still fresh faced youths in high school, we had…an off period! With this free time on our hands, we became rather bored. That and the fact that it was rather early in the morning, and we are manga-obsessed geeks, made for a very dangerous combination. This is the result. Please enjoy, and don't it too seriously. :D

Disclaimer: We do not own anything that belongs to someone else. Which makes sense, huh? No sue-age. We have no money. :(

_Kicking and Screaming_

Written by: Cygne and War of the Roses

Chapter One: Research Gone Awry

It was Friday afternoon and a long weekend of research stretched out before many in the senior class. Rhiannon Bailey and Liana Denfrey hurried out of the stifling school halls, weighted down by their heavy book bags.

"Alright," Rhiannon was saying, "We've got to high tail it through the library if we're going to stop by home before fencing."

Liana nodded and brushed a lock of golden-brown hair out of her face, trying unsuccessfully to tuck it back into her braid. "Yeah… We should be able to find some pretty good books on ancient China in half an hour," she mused, checking her wrist watch. "It is the Library of Congress, after all."

They caught a bus and were soon climbing the steps to the enormous library. In the hushed building, Liana and Rhiannon quickly searched for their topic and walked hurriedly to the designated section. As they scanned the shelves for potential sources, Liana noticed a bluish glow out of the corner of her eye. When she glanced over, the glow had vanished, but in its place, a dilapidated, interesting-looking red book sat promisingly on the shelf. Liana plucked it up.

"Hey, Rhi!" she whispered, carefully opening the delicate volume she held.

"Mmm?" Rhi mumbled, peering over her shoulder at her friend.

"Look at this book. It looks like it could be _from_ ancient China." She displayed the tattered book.

"An English Translation of the Universe of the Four Gods," the taller girl read aloud as she walked to Liana's side. "Open it. Let's read a bit."

"'Kay," Liana agreed enthusiastically. She opened to the first page and began to read: "'Herein contains the tale of a young lady and her quest to gather the seven constellations of Suzaku together. And if you, the esteemed reader, should read to the story's end, the spell contained within this book shall bestow upon you the powers of the heroine and grant you your wish. For indeed, the moment the pages turn, the story will become reality…'"

The two girls looked at each other with wide eyes.

"Well, that does sound interesting, but is it really a nonfiction book?" Rhi asked.

Liana shrugged. "I dunno."

They turned the page together. Suddenly, they were enveloped in light.

"Ahhh!" Rhiannon screamed as she felt herself pitch forward, then found herself falling fast. SMACK! She hit something hard.

"Ohhh… my back," she groaned, cautiously opening her eyes. She was happy to see Liana lying across from her, but the feeling was replaced by confusion as she realized they were on a table, the dishes rattling from their impact, and something was digging into her back…

"A chopstick?" she said, pulling the offending object out from under her. "What the hell?"

"Um, Rhi?" Liana said, sitting up and pointing. Rhiannon followed her finger to see a very mad looking young man with rice dripping off his face drumming his fingers irritably on the table.

Rhiannon donned a smile. "Heh, heh, heh, Sir… um, sorry about the rice, but umm…" she trailed off, scratching the back of her head nervously.

Liana scooted closer to her friend. "Rhi," she hissed, obviously terrified. "Where did the library go?"

Before Rhiannon could even think to respond, several armored, burly men yanked the two girls off of the banquet table.

"You dare to defile his majesty's morning meal with your filthy presence?" one of the guards bellowed.

Without giving them a chance to explain, the men roughly hauled them through two ornate doors.

"What is going on?" Liana moaned as she tried to scramble as quickly as the guards were dragging her.

Rhiannon struggled against her captors' grips, cerulean eyes flashing dangerously. "Wait a minute!" she cried, outraged, "Who are you? How did we get here? Where are you taking us? Let go of me, you bastards!"

Resistance proved to be against her best interests when the guards threatened to skewer her with their sharp, pointy spears if she did not shut her trap.

The girls were literally, and painfully, flung into a dank, dungeon cell. Their packs were tossed carelessly against the wall outside of the barred cell door. Rhiannon leaped to her feet and pressed herself against the metal bars. Liana sat against the far wall, her knees drawn up to her chest, taking in her surroundings with frightened brown eyes.

"_What_ is going on here?" Rhiannon demanded at the top of her lungs so the man keeping watch would have no trouble hearing her. "Is this a jail? What happened to my rights? What happened to warrants? What crime did we commit?" She rattled the doors with frustration when the man studiously ignored her. "ANSWER ME!"

The fat guard remained comfortable in his chair, but inclined his head to glare at her. "Shut your mouth, wench, or I'll come in there and cut out your tongue!"

Rhiannon contemplated challenging his statement by informing him that it would be cruel and unusual punishment, prohibited by the Constitution, but she had a distinct feeling that he would follow through with his threat nonetheless. Instead, she plopped herself down next to Liana with a disgruntled "huff!"

"We are in serious trouble, Rhi," Liana murmured so the guard could not hear. "Somehow, we got from the library to some 'emperor's' dining room. Maybe we were kidnapped… but I don't see how."

Rhiannon just nodded, having nothing to add.

"I think they must be part of some wacko historical cult," Liana continued in her hushed tone, "Everything is ancient Chinese motif…"

It was true. Everything from the emperor's clothes to the various, _disturbing_, torture devices hanging on the opposite wall were Chinese in design.

"Weird…" Rhiannon marveled.

Liana was frowning. "One thing doesn't make sense though, well one among many…" she deliberated, "If we were kidnapped, why were they all so surprised to see us? And if we weren't kidnapped, then how did we get here… I don't remember walking."

"Me neither," Rhiannon agreed.

"The last thing I remember, before landing on the table, is seeing a lot of blue light…" Liana grumbled.

"Hmm… I remember red light," Rhiannon added. With a sigh, she stood up. "Well, one thing _is_ certain: We can't stay here!"

"Oh, really?" Liana asked, eyebrows incredulously raised. "And just how do you propose that we get anywhere else?"

Rhiannon slumped down once more. "If only I had pepper spray and the key to the cell door, then we'd have us a plan."

"I've got some smelly spray in my pack," Liana joked, "It's almost as bad as pepper spray."

"That will work!" Rhi whispered ecstatically. "Now for a lock pick…"

"What about you hair pin?"

Rhiannon grinned and pulled out one of her many hair-fixtures, releasing a lock of beautiful auburn hair to fell to her back. The two girls crept carefully closer to where their packs leaned against the wall. The guard eyed them suspiciously, not at all put at ease by their innocent smiles.

"We need a distraction!" Liana hissed. Rhiannon nodded grimly.

She rose and brushed some dust from her dark jeans. "So…" she improvised amiably, "Ancient China, huh? That must be _really_ interesting. I'm doing a little research project on that for school right now…"

The guard stared blankly at her.

She cleared her throat. "So, what's it like living in China?"

"I don't live in China, idiot, I live in the imperial city of Konan," the guard replied blandly.

"Oh… right… um… When do we get to argue in defense of ourselves?" Rhiannon asked, quickly changing the subject.

The guard sighed… They always said to humor the insane… "You don't. Everyone saw you. You will both be executed in the morning, most likely."

"What!" Rhiannon screeched just as Liana triumphantly stood up with the spray.

"I can't have heard you correctly," Rhi recovered smoothly, "Could you come over here and say that again?" She moved surreptitiously towards the lock, fiddling with the pin in her hand.

Annoyed, the guard rose from his perch and moved just outside the door. "I said—"

Liana sprayed her ridiculously fragrant antibacterial concoction into the guard's open eyes as Rhiannon picked the lock with impeccable talent. She was soon successful.

"Come on!" Rhi yelled over the guard's anguished wails. The girls dashed out the door, scooping up their backpacks on the way.

"Which way?" Liana questioned when they came to an intersection in the hallways.

"Right, like I know how to navigate through ancient Chinese palaces," Rhiannon replied sarcastically.

"Oh, shut up and go… right!" Liana shoved Rhiannon in the said direction, both picking up their pace as the voices of the guards filtered down the hallway from behind.

"After them!" the pursuing guards cried, "And beware of their temporarily-blinding potion! They are tricky!"

"Eep!" Rhiannon yelped. Liana giggled at the guards' stupidity in spite of herself.

"Look! Door! Outside… I hope!" Rhiannon pointed to a small door off to the side. They quickly went through, closing it quietly behind them so as not to alert the guards of the direction they had gone in.

They found themselves in a large courtyard, beautifully tended. The trees were in bloom, petals softly cascading to the ground.

"Looks like something off of a greeting card," Rhiannon commented.

"Yeah…" Liana agreed. "Oh no… There's someone over there."

A gorgeous woman was indeed sitting on a low garden wall not far from where the two fugitives stood. She had waves of impossibly long, shining dark brown hair that draped elegantly over the plentiful yards of silk brocade that clothed her. Her thickly lashed brown eyes flashed in the sunlight as she noticed the two girls staring. She lifted a lithe hand and pointed gracefully towards a door in the garden walls.

"I believe that the door you are looking for is that way," she said gently, her voice like velvet.

Rhiannon's freckled face twisted into a small frown. "That's the exit?"

"Yes."

"And you're just going to let us go?" Liana queried skeptically.

"Well," the courtier amended with a small smile. "I would actually like to ask you a few questions."

Crossing her arms, Rhiannon cocked an eyebrow and pursed her full lips. "What kind of questions?"

The woman chuckled and came over to them. "Well, I heard that you two somehow fell onto the Emperor's breakfast table. How in the world did you manage that?"

Liana deferred to Rhiannon, who was very good at retelling stories.

"Um, that's the thing, ma'am," Rhiannon started, "We're not too sure how. We were just researching ancient China in the Library of Congress… and then we ended up here."

The woman looked very confused. "Congress? What is a Congress?"

"You don't know…?" Rhiannon trailed off. "Where the _hell_ are we? Have these people been brainwashed or something?"

Liana rolled her brown eyes at her friend's foul mouth and spoke. "Maybe you can help us, ma'am. You see, when we were in the library, we found this book, and then—"

Liana was cut off as a cry rang out across the courtyard. "There they are! Get them!"

The two girls glanced at the guards rushing towards them, with drawn swords, and blanched. There was nowhere to go, no way to escape. The guards meticulously surrounded them. One ruthlessly tore Liana's spray bottle from her hand. Then the guards converged, grabbing the fugitives' arms and twisting them into very uncomfortable positions.

Rhiannon struggled furiously to free herself, even when a blade was pressed to her exposed throat. A continuous string of angry words shot from her mouth.

"Rhi!" Liana desperately cautioned when she saw a guard preparing to bash her friend's brains out with the hilt of his sword. "Stop! Don't hurt her!"

The warning was too late. As the man brought the bludgeon crashing down towards Rhiannon's head, the girl could only squeeze her eyes shut and wait for the pain. Suddenly, a red glow surrounded the captive girl. The guards froze, then backed away defensively.

"Rhiannon!" Liana called worriedly, pulling away from the guards.

Opening her eyes slowly, Rhiannon first noticed that the loons in armor, as she had taken to calling them in her tirades, had somewhat retreated. "Ha!" she yelped victoriously. However, after this outburst, the protective red glow faded and the guards pressed in once more.

"Halt!" a commanding, masculine voice barked from behind the girls, "Do not take another step towards these two women!"

Liana and Rhiannon whirled and were shocked to discover that the orders had come from the beautiful woman. They were far more surprised by the warriors' response.

"Your highness!"

"What!" Rhi exclaimed, "You're… man… Emperor?"

"Show some more respect, ungrateful wench!" A guard gritted, pushing her forward into a bow.

"You are the one who should be showing respect!" The Emperor growled. Don't you realize that this is the Priestess of Suzaku, the one who will save us all!"

"Excuse me?" was all Rhi could come up with, which was an unusual situation for the aspiring attorney, indeed.


End file.
